I'm a hot mess momma , and I'm fine with it.

Y'all. I do not even post on this anymore, but I just need to write. I highly doubt even a single person will see this, much less read it through so I'm just going to confess right here and now...I am a HOT MESS mom. You know that mom that pulls up with her pajamas on in the drop off line without a bra and a kid that refuses to get out, so she has to get out in all her non-bra glory to drag her kid out of the truck? That's me. That mom that is obviously slowing down the tuck and roll moms because I thought they would all just be happy to waltz into school first thing in the morning despite not being morning people? Yeah, sorry- me again. 
You know the mom that spends days inside in the summer because I just do not want to entertain my kids 24/7 and tells you she won't join you for that park date in 102 degree Texas weather in July? Me again. 
Don't get me wrong- I do a LOT with my kids. We do the movies, Six Flags, the lake, cookouts, etc, but I refuse to be mom, maid, teacher, nurse, and all of the other things mom do PLUS the entire entertainment committee for an entire summer. Nope. Not happening. So my kids can go outside and blow up that giant gorilla sprinkler, or use the metal one and play. They can use their imagination to find something else to do. I remember playing outside almost all summer long and coming into my mom watching her soaps and taking a nap on the couch. Now, I don't let my kids roam like I was able to but I am still that hot mess of a mom that just wants her kids to go outside and play. I love them so so much but go playyyyyyyy.... 
I used to think I wasn't cut out to be a mom, but then I realized that it was because I spent too much time worrying about what other moms were doing, how spotless their homes were, how many vacations they took their kids on, or all the fun unicorn ice cream treats they bought their kids. Now, I realize it's more fun to let them bake a cake of their own, build forts in the backyard, and let them be kids. I don't need to be entertaining them ALLLL the time- it makes for a mom mental breakdown. 
I will never be that mom that has it all together. I've been telling myself for years I'd get it together. Nope. I never will. I've accepted this is who I am. I'll be the mom that gets the last warning email for field trip forms that I put on the counter and forgot about in the hustle of our lives. I'll forever be that mom that holds her kids accountable for doing their own assignments but accepting the consequences if they don't. I will not remember their homework for them. I will be the one there RIGHT on time and NEVER early, but I WILL BE THERE. I won't be the room mom because I want to be in the moment and enjoy the things with my kids...but sure I'll bring the juice boxes. :) 
I know that I am not alone. I am sure I am judged by other moms with their lives together. I just cannot imagine being any other way! 

I don't know- it's after midnight- my kids are STILL awake despite having a 10:00 bedtime in summer and I think I'm going crazy...I just realized that my life is chaos because I am a hot mess...and it's okay! So here's to all the hot mess moms that are amazing!! 

Still can't keep up

It's been a long time since I've blogged...again. Last post was in 2015. I am just not very good with words, so I tend to stay away until I have something to really say. This blog really has no direction or purpose, except for me to ramble.

I keep toying with the idea of sharing some of my funny (hilarious, actually) mom stories. My youngest child is just... he's crazy.

Then I want to share my adventures in my teaching journey. I finally graduated with my Associate of Arts in Teaching, and I'll be starting at Texas Wesleyan in the fall to complete my bachelors degree. That is super exciting. I am starting to get nervous about teaching. I see a lot of classrooms that are pinterest worthy, and I wonder- can I do that? Do I want to do that?I care about the kiddos, and teaching, not if my classroom has the latest theme that everyone wants. Good thing I still have about a year and a half or so of classes to find who I am as a teacher. I am to the point in my life that I am just ready to start my career, and I am excited to do so.

My youngest starts Pre-K this year, and I'm kind of having a meltdown about it. Something about the baby going to school makes me so sad. I cried every year dropping my kids off for school, but it's just different when you know it's your last time to do it.


Right now, we have just been trying to enjoy our summer. We've done all of the fun things. Museums, the zoo, splash pads, camping, boating, BBQ's, six flags, water parks, snow cones, and anything else I can think of. I am not one of those go-go-go moms though, so we typically only do one or two things a week.

Anyway, just wanted to give a quick update... until I figure out what exactly I want to do with this blog...

Night all.

Gosh- I haven't been able to get into blogger for a VERY long time...

I know it's been a LONG time..it always has.. I'm just not much of a writer I guess. School went well last semester- all A's. Christmas was good... we did the want, need, read gift giving for the kids this year, and I'm so glad. We don't have a bunch of random crap laying around so that's good.
Lately- My oldest son has been having issues with school...well not lately, but lately he's been crying. Crying because he doesn't want to go to school. He feels like the "bad kid". Can I just say I am ready to move? While I do like his teacher... I feel like they are allowing him to feel this way. I am in no means that mom that thinks a kid deserves a trophy just for showing up, but to make a kid in 1st grade feel like he hates school- is ridiculous. He has been put in the back of the classroom for weeks at a time. He is loud, he is goofy. He is who we called a class clown when I was a kid. The staff isn't really much help as far as my concerns, as they have labeled him already, and once you do that it's hard to see past it. At  what point as a mom do you just say enough? The problem is- kids will taunt my son- my son will eventually get mad...hit a kid...then the kid tattles and of course my son is the one in trouble despite the kid getting in his face and calling him ugly names...it's like NO...both kids were out of line. Period end of story. I got a phone call one day b/c my 6 year old son shook his booty at another boy and laughed and was saying "shake your booty"...ummm okay? they are 6 year old boys. That's what kids do. I kind of sound whiney- but it's just always one thing after another. Why can't we just accept him for who he is? Why can't he just be the class clown? Why is he stuck alone in the back of a classroom b/c he's goofy and loud? I just don't get it. This generation of teachers are kind of different. Don't get me wrong- there are A LOT  of great ones, and my son's is nice,..I just don't think most teachers know how to handle little boys. They just think all kids should be able to sit all day and listen and do work. It is unrealistic.
I am certainly hoping that my experiences will help me to become a better teacher in the future. I guess I just don't understand it. I know there are rules and things to get done...but I"m just sad. It makes me question the field I'm going into. What kinds of things will I have to do against my better judgment?
ANYWAY,
it's been sunny and nice here- like springtime. I am LOVING it, and I hope it stays that way..lol... I love having the windows open and the smell of a nice candle burning. I've been using the spun sugar from Target and then watermelon lemonade from bath and body works. Those are my two faves for now! lol...
 I swear I need to get a journal and write down the funny things my kids say- lately there as been a LOT!!  Of course I suffer from mom brain and cannot even think of one at the moment.
Hmmm..what else? Oh I'm taking intro to computing, history, and government this semester. Man- this is no joke. I suppose I should watch something other than Mickey Mouse Clubhouse now and then because I am so beyond lost lol....
Anyway just a short update- off to do homework and then relax while the baby naps.

Today... I had a moment.

Today started out like every other day. Alarm goes off at 6:15, I hit snooze a couple of times, and eventually get up around 6:30. Go to wake up the kids, and as usual, they don't wanna get up. Then there's my husband...who's alarm has been going off since around 5:30, and he doesn't want to get up either. I co sleep with my youngest, so if anyone else co- sleeps- you know - I didn't get "real" sleep... and I got maybe 5-6 hours at best. Anyway, I finally get the kids up, get them dressed, take them in to school, and through the breakfast line. Today was whole grain biscuits with gravy, and fruit. Yep, I'm that mom that is too lazy, or tired..or not peppy enough to get up and make my kids breakfast at the crack of dawn. I am NOT a morning person, and the school here has pretty darn good food, and choices...same type of things I'd have for them here anyway. Okay so I came home, immediately I get ready for class...then it's time to head out....normally I take Beck to my cousins, who watches him while I'm in class, but today daddy stayed home with him, so I had a little extra time to go a little slower. I go to three classes on campus. First break is only 5 minutes in between, and second is only 10.
I got out of class, and since Beck was here with daddy, I was able to come home and relax while they napped for about half an hour before I went and got the big kids from school. I enjoy the quiet moments when I can because once the big kids are home- chaos ensues. I looked around, I've got a table full of laundry to fold and put away (in the middle of my living room no less), two sinks full of dishes, and toys everywhere....don't even care- I'm SITTING here for this half an hour when I get the chance. Go get the big kids, come home, do snack...send them outside to play... Beck is up by now, so he is cranky pants after nap...so I hold him - to do EVERYTHING>... when he finally chills out...it's time to start dinner, and somehow that's an invitation for EVERYONE to come into the kitchen and ask me for a MILLION things...they need this, they want to help, the little one is dumping crap out, and tearing my pencils up... and so on... I pretty much have a meltdown this time of day, every single day. EVERY. day. I am only ONE person...I cannot please 4 other people and 2 dogs all at once. I cannot do it, and I know I can't....but they don't.
Fast forward to bedtime- Beck won't go to sleep without cuddles, and I was so frustrated because I knew I had so much to do before bedtime that I couldn't do because he needed cuddles. I look over and he's looking at me, just smiling, then he just puts his hand on my face and gives me a kiss, and then lays down and looks at me with that same smile just staying on his face. So sweet, so peaceful. HOw dare I?! I realized in that moment- that IS what matters...those damn dishes and those piles of clothes don't matter...they just don't.... THIS Is the moment that matters. He just needed ME.... just for one hour or so- just to chilll out and just be with him, calm him, love him. He finally went to sleep, and I felt so good just laying there looking at his sweet face...God I love that kid... I love him so freaking much..just being by him made me so calm, and made me feel loved.
Afterward I was able to get up and go love on the crazy big kids...hugs and kisses... and I dunno..just seeing all their sweet faces at night time makes me realize how much I love them. I know it gets crazy.... I know they can be difficult, but all they want is me. My time, my love, my attention.
I have got to stop saying "in a minute",  and "can it wait"... because NO it can't. I won't lie- i'm not going to stop cooking dinner, or put down everything right when they ask- but from now on- I AM going to make sure when I'm present- I'm actually THERE and involved..not just going through the motions...and once 8 hits- I'm DONE... done for the day... it will save my sanity.
I knowt his is just a bunch of babbles, I just felt so good seeing my babies today- after allthe chaos... just looking at them and seeing that no matter what- they love me for me...
now if i just had a maid......

I'm a...freshman...at 30?! Oye

Today was my first day in college. I'm a freshman. I am 30 years old. 13 years ago I was starting my senior year of HIGH SCHOOL. This is just insane. Where did the time go? It really hit me today doing some introductions in sociology class. There were sophomores in there younger than me. I had to say "I'm a freshman". It felt SO silly. It's one of those moments that kind of slaps you into reality.
Gone are the skinny, low rise jeans, tight tank top, in style, cool moments. I am NOT cool. I am 30. I'm not "old", but I'm "older"....lol.... It just hit me today that's all. 30 never really bothered me until today! I'm not exactly sure where I fit in, but ah who needs to fit in right?
All that aside, today was a good first day of college. I am some super nice professors, that have some interesting stories to tell! I think this is going to be a great semester! I won't even start on how hard I think next semester will be! HA! I hope everyone else that went back today had a great day as well!
I came home- kids were crazy! lol...Thank goodness they start school tomorrow as well, or I'd never get anything done! I adore my kids, but this summer has been insane! I've kept them pretty busy, but I can only do so much. I have a new appreciation for my own mother, who also raised 3 kids! Luckily I'm not doing it on my own like she had to!

Can I just say- I wish I'd have stayed in college after high school?! I'm not sure about others my age, except a few, but I think we all wish we'd have just gotten it over with while we were young, carefree, and CHILDLESS! lol... Here's to a great semester, and a great next 4 years!

Once again..it's been awhile

Okay, lol.... Seems like every time I finally get around to blogging again- I have to always say "it's been awhile". HA! Our computer crashed, and I finally got a new laptop! woot! I don't even know who follows me, or even reads this, but I'm bored sooooo here I am.

I start school on monday! YIKES! 30 years old and starting from the bottom. I could say I'm not nervous and this is awesome, but that wouldn't be the truth. I am VERY excited to finally be going the path I should've been on from the start, but I am so nervous. I was looking at a syllabus for one of my classes and I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed and wonder what I'm getting myself into. This should be interesting to say the least.

Kids start school Tuesday! yay! Tonight is their meet the teacher night. I am terrified for them as well! Kindergarten and First grade are kind of a big deal. These teachers are shaping these kids! My kids are excited about school, and I'm grateful that they love it so much.

Kids are getting really big, they fight all the time. Beck has his own voice now and is pretty strong willed.

Not even going to lie- Tuesday- I'm taking a nap with Beck!! lol... I am one of "those" moms that is ready for school to start. If for nothing else but being able to shower and potty alone while the toddler naps. My house is always pretty chaotic and always has something to clean, and I"m just ready for a slow down.

Well....I guess I should take a shower before meeting the teachers... lets hope for good ones this year! we loved ours last year!!

out.

I got a JAdoreVoxBox

Okay I get these boxes now and then , but this one was really good!
I got the Jadore Vox Box around valentines day. As most of you know- we had a pretty bad car crash and I was busy with all of that stuff so I didn't get a chance to do all the activities as soon as I'd have liked, so I wanted to share now.http://instagram.com/p/lxcv8ukRoc/#

There's the lovely picture of all the products :)


Okay I h ave pretty short lashes, and they are no joke- STICK straight. I always have to use an eyelash curler, but these lashes looked really good. They blended in, didn't look unnatural. I wore contacts and they were fine....towards the end of the night I was irritated by them and ready to take them off, but I feel like that's normal

We all know herseys kisses ...so good..i shared with everyone!

The Mens Spray Lotion- My inital thought was it would be greasy and gross..it's NOT.. AT ALL. It actually smells really good, and goes on light and perfect. My husband really likes it- he uses it every morning actually. This is something I will have to buy more of around here..

The clay mask- wonderfulLlllllL!!! You know how sometimes the masks make your face feel SO tight and dry afterwards? well this one does NOT!! Loved it! I didn't care for the smell..it wasn't a BAD smell...just not one I liked..lol

The frizz ease- even as a professional _ I still like some John Frieda stuff- I know NAUGHTY...this was no exception. It did keep my hair straight- even after a nap with a toddler...lol... BUT 2nd day hair felt kind of sticky. Possibly because I have pretty straight hair? I don't know- Maybe b/c I like to wash my hair everyday or it makes me crazy- who knows...
OHHH for people with more fine hair- do NOT use more than like 3 sprays....or it's gross lol

And Red Rose Teas- it was good. I still prefer good ole Lipton plain iced tea- I AM from the south..lol... but it wasn't bad..


See Quick and painless...now have a great day and try some of these products! You won't regret it.

It came with:
Kiss Looks So Natural Lashes
Hersheys Kisses
Vaseline Mens Spray Lotion
Boots Botanics Sine Away Ionic Clay Mask
John Frieda Frizz Ease 3 Day Straight Flat Iron Spray
and Red Rose  Simply Indulgent Teas

This was all sent to me free from Influenster, and I was not paid for these reviews.